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What is my purpose here
You ask
And I do too
Not loudly
Not pressingly
But in a whispered loop
In the ever-faded background

What is
My meaning
And my driving force
Besides the little things of life
The so-called simple pleasures
Which are oftentimes almost
Crushed to dust
Unfortunately
Under the weight of everyday
‘Have-to’s

I believe the answer is

I dream
In ways only I can dream
I delight in weaving
These delicate translucent webs
In the eerie gaps of the mundane
In inner stillness and perhaps
The warm dull light
Of my bedside lamp
Quietly following one
Meandering thought after
Another
Into the small hours of the night
Oh
That time is precious
That time is mine

The problem is
Once daylight comes
And dreams are ready to be
Birthed
Rosy
Plump
And thirsty for breath
There’s always this annoying

Albeit purposeful

Push and pull
Between outwards and inwards
Inwards and outwards
Between keeping them
All for myself
And sending them
Out into the world
To bear fruit like any
Living thing

Astrology I think would have
An explanation for this
My Sun being in my fourth house
Which is ruled by the Moon
Two opposing
Yet complementary forces
Masculine and feminine
Always pulling and pushing
Each other away

But what if there’s also
A faulty connection between
Inner world and outer world
As I’ve just read
The result of having
A dysfunctional
Possibly overbearing
Animus
The masculine force of
A woman’s soul
Supposed to build bridges
Between realms
Bring to life
The dormant
The unseen

(2025)

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