I wish I could finally 
See your face when 
Looking in the mirror
Shining like perfectly polished 
Brass  
And hopefully 
Smiling back 
From the reflection 

I wish I could verify
If you truly do look 
Somehow similar to myself
As I once read 
Only more striking 
And magnificent in appearance 
A divine elevated version
Of my own 
Quite possibly a foreshadowing of the 
Immortal
Spiritual body 
We’ve been promised

I would nervously break the ice  
By playfully asking 
If you too are a fan of colours
And love to wrap yourself up in them
According to the season
Of your heart
Or actually mine

I would then breathe in 
Your energy
To see if it feels
More feminine or masculine
Though neither of a man 
Nor of a woman 
If you are more nurturing
Or protective by nature
Or you have mastered the perfect
Balance of the two  
I would check if your demeanour 
Is more childlike and innocent
Or more like that of a warrior  
If you have a gleaming sword
At the ready 
To face the pouring vicious attacks
Or if your weapons
Of choice are 
Pure love and prayer
And faith and endurance
   
I would say I'm sorry for 
Letting unhealed 
Hurt and disappointment
Steal my joy 
And hope 
In this perhaps only moderately 
Troubled earthly life
I would then look you in the eyes
And say ‘thank you’
For holding on to me 
Tightly 
All those times when 
Hanging on the cusp 
Of the precipice 
Though I myself loathed 
Protection
And would have gladly 
Exchanged it for the abyss
Of nothingness

I wish I could feel your fingers 
Gently tapping my shoulder
Never tired of steering 
In the right direction
To hear your whispers
Clear as day
Never having to wonder 
Which way I should go
And why

I wish I could finally 
Have a clear taste of that 
Unconditional love I’ve heard 
You’d without a doubt 
Have for me
A perfect
Fractal piece of the one 
That encompasses all 
Specially bestowed 
Upon me

(2022)

Sursă foto: colecție personală

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