My dear Sir
For quite a while now 
As you well must know 
I have kept waiting for you 
Ever so patiently
To take matters into your own hands
And muster up the courage 
To finally cross the border that separates 
Our adjoining lands
I have not tired of looking out 
The drawing-room window
During the winter and spring  
Summer and autumn
And now look another winter 
Hoping to see your quietly dreamt about 
Silhouette
Descending the gentle hill 
Between us
Alongside the slowly creeping shadows of dusk 
After dusk
A few times my heart suddenly fluttered 
With the sweet alarm of long-awaited joy
Only to swiftly be brought down again   
By the mute comprehension it had 
Been just an illusory approaching  
Maybe a visit in thought not in deed
I have learned from others
That you have given yourself
Wholeheartedly 
To the many and surely exerting 
Undertakings 
Associated with the noble duty of managing 
Such a vast and flourishing estate 
As has been entrusted to you
The way you've successfully handled
The vast array of difficulties 
That are bound to spring up 
In the path of any landowner such as yourself 
Nowadays
Is cause for the sincere admiration of many
Including my own 
I will admit though 
That in hearing news about you 
I was hoping to get 
Even a small mention of your
Enquiring after myself as well
And indeed 
I did catch some whispers 
But not quite enough 
Not to get me through the second winter 
At least
Especially as this one seems to 
Truly mean business 
I honestly do not know if in a week or two 
We should still be able to go for a walk  
In exploration of the frozen nearby moor
As I very much hoped we would 
One day 
No this is not my suddenly awakened  
Female vanity speaking
Just plain common-sense
The muddy country roads are 
The last thing on my mind
As is the prospect of ruining a frock
Or a perfectly good pair of winter boots
On a few miles' walk
No my Sir
The thing is I am a bit over it 
To say the truth
After the dull waiting thus far
The faint glimmer of hope almost gone
Its perishing hastened by the heavy violence 
Looming closer and closer upon us 
Threatening to uproot everything we know 
From the ground 
I somehow feel I’ve not the time anymore 
Nor quite the disposition  
To keep looking out the drawing-room window 
In hopes of discerning an outline that grows 
Fuzzier and fuzzier
With each day that passes 
In obstinate silence
Not by fault of a weak memory 
Or imagination
Rest assured both are as sharp as ever
It is just a natural 
Self-preserving response I think
To an even more natural need

Someone to actually 
Stand up for me too

(2022)

Sursă foto: Unsplash.com

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