Letter to my first

I took you as being 
One of those guys
My father had warned me about 
A player as they say
Pretty much from the beginning 
To my defence
This was the face
Or the façade
You yourself proudly put on 
To the world
And poured some considerable 
Effort into maintaining
I suspect
At least in front of your friends
This was the reason why
When I thought I had to say 
Stop
I didn’t even pause to ponder 
How you’d feel about it
I just assumed
It was going to be 
More or less the same to you
Whether it was me or another
It wasn't until 
The talk last night 
That it finally dawned on me
You might have actually 
Felt something too
Maybe that one ‘I love you’
You once said 
That I quickly brushed off
In a sarcastic laugh of disbelief
Had a seedling of truth in it
And maybe that’s why you wanted 
To keep seeing each other 
Despite my stubborn decision
Fuelled by such radical
Newly found convictions
The possibility of it
Being so 
Brought tears to my eyes
To be honest 
I don't know where from
For I thought I was 
Perfectly ok now 
With that particular part 
Of my life
What hurt at first I think 
Was the idea
That I might have been 
The unjust one
The cynic instead of 
The idealist 
The self-centered instead of 
The empathetic
In automatically assigning you 
Such a label 
However justified it seemed
To the naked eye
Without first having taken the time 
To make sure
Nothing else could hide 
Underneath it
Now I wonder
If it also took you a while 
To recover
As it did me
If when you lay in bed
At the end of the day
Some of your thoughts were being
Drawn in my direction
Willingly or unwillingly  
As by an invisible magnet
If in the quiet of the night you ever
Asked yourself how I was
Moved by a lingering pang 
Of honest regret
For more than the physical 
Like a tiny iron fist
At times pushing into your sternum  
From the inside out 

Sursă foto: Pexels.com

© Copyright: Acest text reprezintă o creație de natură intelectuală și este protejat de legislația în vigoare privind drepturile de autor. Citarea parțială sau preluarea sa integrală este permisă numai cu precizarea numelui autorului – iar, în mediul online, cu indicarea sursei electronice.

Lasă un comentariu